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New Me

Yeah this is public
Read it and deal with it

We are all shades of gray.

Its been said again and again; life is a process,
we are fleeting moments that come and go,
and I’m grateful to have my time,
my aspirations and my mistakes,
my flaws and my abilities,
think of me what you will,
but before you do,

I am a liar.
I am self absorbed.
I am in this for me.
I am seeking recognition.
I am not concerned with politics.
I am attempting to rise to the top.
I am never going to forget my intentions.
I am allowed to worry about my own life above the lives of others.

-------AFTER ALL---------
I am human.


Those are my words of wisdom

I am turing over a new leaf
(Yeah I have said this before but I legit am)
In the past few days I have done A LOT of soul searching and I have spiled my guts to a few people
And with their help, things are turing around
For the first time in a very long time I am beginning to be happy
And it is the most wonderful thing I have ever felt
It has been so long since I've honestly been happy that I am embracing this with open arms
I am done dealing with people and their fucking bullshit
I don't care if you don't like me
Grown some fucking balls tell me to my face, so that way I know and I can get you the fuck out of my life

I am letting go of all the people from my past that have hurt me
They were my friends back then but they have moved on and I am not in their future and i see no place for them in mine
I have (hopefully) made new friends that will stick by me despite my flaws
But I am growing up and I can only hope that they will stay in my life because I don't want anymore negativity around me
I think that I have earned this happiness
I've watched everyone's dreams come true and I have spent so much time putting others before myself in the hopes that they would do the the same
but they didn't And I was a fool not to see it
But in recent days everything has come into a new light
I feel like I am seeing everything with a new set of eyes
And as I look back on my past I see the mistakes that I made, but I also see how I can learn from them
I am not expecting everything to change over night, but I know that in due time everything will fall into place
(And it finally has started to)
This is good-bye to all the people that were once a part of my life but have now moved on
I too am moving on
I have changed an I thank-you for all that you have done and I know that you were at one point a significant part of my life
But I am closing that chapter in my life
To all the new friends that I have made I am looking forward to our friendship and I hope that you will be there for me and help me in times of need if not, (This is blunt and I don't care) then perhaps we should end this now because I don't need nor I want your phony bullshit and we should close this door before it opens too wide



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 30th, 2008 06:29 pm (UTC)
It seems like we had similar nights last night.
We both told the world we're done with bullshit.
And honestly people like you have helped me come to the descision that i dont need fake friends in my life, i need ones who like me for me and understand why i do the things i do and love the things i love.
I think we're both in a similar boat here, and its cool because its nice to not feel alone.

And thank you by the way for the comment you left me :)
And its mutual, ever need to chat you know how to get me.
May. 30th, 2008 07:31 pm (UTC)
i'm glad you're opening a new chapter in your life... i hope it goes well for you <3
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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